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push my.. wow ok I did it hahahha to push my redundant and stupid posts down.

seriously this is garbage. this whole thing. lol.
but somehow I just can't go on a hiatus longer than this.
i might have but the time span wouldn't have been much more than this.
i can't seem to type proper anymore. or rather bother to.
it's all about the images now. hahahaha and videos. lol and animations/gifs.
though i haven't really been on tumblr much either.

you know, at the start of every school holiday, you think to yourself, or rather I, think to myself, wow, what a long period of time. I'm going to spend my time doing dadada and blah blah blah and yada yada yada yet I NEVER DO ANYTHING EXCITING. sure, somehow I'll be able to actually do some of the boring stuff I 'planned' but there's seriously so much more things and so much more time to do things but I never do anything productive. it doesn't need to be productive, but I don't even feel like I'm enjoying myself? honestly I like school. I hate the work and the studying part of course. because, not only is it a great way to spend time between the weekends, it's also the only way I get to see more than 5 people in one place, forced to get along with each other, genuine or fake. and you know, i've given up on everything real. that one true best friend, or more, or one true love, or my dreams materializing. because it fucking won't. and some may have noticed it a long time ago, i'm slowly but surely sinking into the depths of my fantasies. and i don't wanna be pulled out. ever. even something as real as me, or someone dying, won't be able to get me out of it. so here i am, alone. as always. alone. as always. and forever.

seriously hope the world ends next year. seriously. singapore should have an earthquake. or we could become atlantis. fucking cool. llcoolj.

which nineteen year old has to spend every weekend BOTH SATURDAY AND SUNDAY with their parents. which nineteen year old is expected home EVERY FUCKING DAY BY 12MN. which nineteen year old does not get allowance during holidays.

many, i suppose. but there are fucking more who dont need to fulfil any of those, especially the first fucking two.

who made me like this. if you were going to let me see the peaks of the mountain and then throw me down then WHY THE FUCK BRING ME UP?

I hate this. I fucking hate it.

sorry. angst. as always. as always.

sometimes i wish i weren't human. i hate our hunger for perfection, and our undying thirst for greed. if nothing is perfect, i want to become nothing.